


Unspoken

by ShadyShadowDemon



Category: Markiplier Egos
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anti is anti, Dark is a mess sometimes, Dark is an empath, Dark’s no okay, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Smut, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Tough Love, disassociating, eventually, more tags to be added later, serious mental problems, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2020-11-07 16:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20820596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadyShadowDemon/pseuds/ShadyShadowDemon
Summary: Dark is accused wrongly and left alone again. But perhaps this loss of one relationship is a chance to rekindle another when Anti comes over to check up on him.I'm bad at summaries I'm sorry





	1. Chapter 1

Dark wished he could say he was surprised. But the reality of his situation hasn’t quite sunk in yet, he was too...detached. He supposed that was the problem, wasn’t it?

He stared blankly, not able to give a response because he...well he wasn’t sure what to say. Would anything even matter?

And he supposed that was apparently answer enough, because next thing he knew he was alone.

He didn’t do anything, though. He didn’t...well...he supposed that didn’t really matter now, did it?

With a heavy sight he made his way to the kitchen. It hadn’t hit him yet. He knew when it did he would be fucked so, for lack of a better term,

_what-the-fuck-ever._

He thought about calling Anti, but somehow knew he wouldn’t give a fuck. Dark wasn’t supposed to call the other demon, anyway. When was the last time they had talked?

Dark couldn’t call him now on the verge of a break down just to seek comfort, he had no right to fuck with Anti like that. Besides, Anti would probably tell him to piss off anyway, and rightfully so.

Accepting the fact he was now entirely alone, he opened the cabinet in the kitchen and pulled down a box of...well the best way to the describe them was a sort of demon chocolate. It was a specially made treat and it was Dark’a favorite, usually only for special occasions.

Or depressing occasions.

That, a spoon, a tub of ice cream, and a blanket. Dark chucked off suit jacket and dress shirt and plopped down on his couch, putting on the dumbest fucking movie he could find.

He was just sitting there, mindlessly existing and zoning out until it finally hit him.

He was alone again.

He closed his eyes, feeling disgusted with himself and...and life in general.

It wasn’t fair. But then, he supposed, it was also probably karma. Karma he 100% deserved. There was no denying the fact he was the literal scum of all creatures- a demon. A shadow demon at that.

If he was being truthful, it was a miracle he’d had anything good in his life at all. If he had just done better, if he had just...then maybe...

No.

He couldn’t be better, he was a parasite. That’s what he was born to be. He couldn’t let himself get lost in all that ‘You could be better’ nonsense again. He was a demon, and that’s all he’ll ever be.

He was just a monster.

He forwent eating any of his comforting sweets, suddenly very sick to his stomach as he realized how far away he strayed. It was a good thing he was left by...

Well it...it doesn’t matter. He needed to forget that name, forget that face. He sunk down in the couch, pulling the warmth of the blanket closer around him as his distant eyes stared through the TV screen.

He just needed to forget. It would fine. He would go back to being what he was supposed to be and stop fucking around with humans or other creatures that wanted him to be better.

Because he wasn’t better. He was a demon.

Maybe he’d give Anti a call after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Anti wasn’t entirely sure why he came. When he heard about what happened it didn’t sit right with him.

He knew it was honestly none of his goddamn business, and Dark hadn’t called him so, it’s possible what they’re saying is true.

But at the same time...he had this feeling. God, Anti hated feelings.

He knew how Dark was, it just didn’t sound like him somehow. So he came over, just to check on him. Make sure Dark wasn’t being a dumbarse.

He found Dark in his living room, jacket and shirt disregarded, sound asleep. He looked like a mess in his sleep like always. Anti rolled his eyes. No telling how long the dumbshit had been here. The ice cream on the floor next to him was melted in its tub, but Anti wasn’t sure what to make of that.

So, the Irish demon kneeled down next to the couch and placed his hand on Dark’s blanket-covered chest, shaking him. “Dark. Wake up.”

“Mmph?” Came the oh-so intelligent reply of the shadow demon.

It was weird, seeing Dark wake from this point of view. He was used to seeing Dark wake up while he was laying beside him, or at the very least when they were together. And Dark would wake up and there was this look in his eyes. Anti was never quite able to place it, but it was obvious in that moment Dark’s walls were down, and that he cared.

Now Anti witnessed him wake up like everyone else would. The shadow demon squinted an eye open and grunted, shifting slightly.

“Anti?” Came the mumbled reply. Something about it worried Anti. Dark didn’t just sound like he was brushing off the remains of his, probably day or two long nap.

Dark sounded absolutely exhausted still.

Anti scowled at him, fixing him with a wilting glare. 

Dark didn’t really seem to notice. He sat up on his elbows, eyes squinting and trying to adjust. “Are you real?” Was the first question, which was even more concerning than the apparent exhaustion in his deep, rumbling voice.

“Fook’s sake, Dark.” Anti replied, standing up and crossing his arms.

“I thought it was a valid question. I could easily hallucinate you.” He pointed out, sitting up all the way. The blanket pooled around his lap, showing off his toned torso as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Anti sighed heavily and forcefully pulled Dark’s chin up to look at him. Dark seemed a bit confused, raising an eyebrow. Anti rolled his eyes and blew hot air across his face. He smirked as Dark jerked back, electing to ignore the ever so slight shudder that went through Dark’s frame.

“Real then.” Dark mumbled, pulling out of Anti’s grin and rubbing at his eyes. He got up off the couch, and Anti’s eyes automatically flickered over his broad shoulders and toned abdomen. Old habits die hard, he supposed.

Dark was polite enough to ignore it, though, pulling his disgracefully crumpled dress shirt on and buttoning it up.

“What day is it?” Dark asked vaguely, glancing out the window.

“Monday.” Anti supplied. “How long were yeh asleep?”

Dark made a face. “Since Friday.”

“Dumbfook.”

“Why, Anti, you’re far too kind to me.” Dark drawled.

Anti sent another glare his way at the accusation. “Yer positively useless, yeh know that?”

“Yes, I’m quite familiar with it.”

Anti just grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards the kitchen. Dark went willingly, stumbling after Anti, which was oddly satisfying to the glitch demon.

Anti pushed Dark into a chair at the kitchen island. He heard Dark mumble under his breath, something about glitches and manhandling. Like it had ever bothered him before.

He helped himself to Dark's familiar kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and taking down two mugs. He half couldn’t believe he was actually doing this, trying to take care of Dark again.

He could feel the shadow demon’s gaze on him as he moved around the kitchen. Anti scoffed at the content of both pantry and fridge. He turned on his heel to give Dark yet another glare.

“Yeh need groceries.”

Dark nodded, already knowing this of course. Why the fook he didn’t say something and spare Anti the trouble was beyond the glitch demon. “I was going to get some on Friday.”

Anti’s frown softened. “What happened?” He came over to join Dark at the island, standing opposite him as he studied his former boyfriend’s face.

Dark paused, confusion clouding his dark brown eyes, his brow creasing and the corner of his mouth twitching downward. Dark was deeply troubled by this whole thing, Anti realized, as the shadow demon tried to formulate a reply.

“I’m not entirely sure.” Dark admitted. “But I know they blamed me for it.”

“They? Who’s they?” Anti wasn’t entirely sure why he was so pissed. Don’t get him wrong, he still cared a shit ton about Dark, and he knew Dark cared about him. But they haven’t talked a lot lately, so they’ve been pretty distant. He almost wanted to be offended that Dark didn’t call him, but he wasn’t on account of the fact he knew Dark so damn well.

Dark shrugged, resting his chin on his fist.

“Yer absolutely useless,” Anti repeated, sounding worried as all hell.

Dark hummed his agreement to his statement, standing up and walking over to the now finished pot of coffee. He poured some into each of the two mugs Anti had taken down, and Anti watched for a moment. Then he snapped out of it, going over to the fridge and taking out the creamer- at least Dark still had some of that left.

Anti poured some into one and a shit ton into the other. He claimed the one with the most for himself, earning himself an annoyed huff from the shadow demon and he smirked.

Dark went back to his previous seat. “What are you doing here, anyway?” He asked.

Anti shrugged. “I don’t know. Just figured yeh could use ta company I guess.”

Dark raised an eyebrow. After a moment, Dark stretched his hand out. Anti blinked, not comprehending what Dark wanted. The shadow demon leaned forward, reaching to take Anti’s hand from where it was resting on the island.

Immediately, Anti felt himself relax. He heard Dark’s calm “I’m okay, Anti.”

Of course. Anti forgot Dark was an empath. He would be able sense Anti’s unease and worry. Anti sighed softly, closing his emerald green eyes, letting Dark’s calm waves wash over him.

He almost missed Dark’s smile. He blinked his eyes open as the last bit of the smile disappeared off the shadow demon’s face.

“You were right.” Dark told him. “I could use some company.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark finally talks about what's bothering him, at least a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to come out, and it doesn't go much of anywhere. I've had most of this chapter typed for the longest time but I just never finished it up.

Anti elected to stay with Dark after the disaster of a shadow demon was revealed to be just that to him. Not that Dark minded, aside from the nagging about the fact he needed to get groceries and actually feed himself. He could do without that. 

Anti knew because Dark had said just that to him. But that’s besides the point. The point is that there was something wrong with Dark. Of course, it was expected the demon would be upset, but it wasn’t lost on Anti how…affected he really was. Dark had been using Anti’s presence as a distraction, and the glitch had been letting him, but it wasn’t helping.

Dark seemed exhausted constantly no matter how much sleep he got. Anti was hoping maybe a couple days it would pass, but it still hasn’t after a week. In addition to that, Anti could barely get Dark to breathe a word out about what happened, and while Dark claimed he was doing okay, you could tell when his eyes drifted to somewhere far off, staring through whatever was in front of him as any amusement or positivity drained from those dark orbs, there was something horrible going on inside his head.

In those moments, Anti was terrified for the couple seconds it took Dark to refocus, not that he would ever admit to it. 

He really fucking hated feelings.

At least, Anti decided he couldn’t let it ride any longer. He was going to ask Dark about it and force the answers out of him if he had to.

“Dark.” Anti said, crossing his arms. They were in the living room as of now. Anti was standing, looking at the shadow demon easily reclining on the couch.

“Anti.” Dark replied, voice not nearly as serious as he raised an eyebrow in silent question. Anti could tell by his eyes Dark had a feeling of where this was going, though. The shadow demon wasn’t stupid.

“Yeh need ta tell me what’s wrong. I’ve been tryin give yeh yer space and all that bullshit, but yer not getting any better. I can see yer getting worse by the day, I’m not retarted. I can’t help if yeh don’t talk to me.” Anti’s voice held a sternness to it, his green eyes a hard, emerald color as he stared down at Dark.

Dark returned his stare passively, and seemed to be treating this with disinterest. Anti knew better than that. He could practically see the gears turning behind Dark’s eyes, watching him contemplate and calculate, weighing his options and, mostly, trying to sift through the tangle of emotions he was probably experiencing.

There was a long pause before Dark relented, eyes skirting Anti’s gaze to look down slightly in submission. A calculated move more than likely, Dark’s attempts to ease Anti’s intensity. 

The raven-haired male took a deep, steadying breath, letting it out slowly. “You’re right.” He started, which was not a way Dark usually starts anything. “I got to sleep and wake up even more exhausted. I can’t stop replaying it over and over in my mind, and with you here it’s easy to distract from it. So it finds me in my sleep. What I could have done, what I _should_ have done. Over and over, like a never-ending purgatory. And I can’t…I can’t stop. I wake up from one version just to fall asleep to another. A way the scene would have gone better, a way I could have explained and he would have stayed. And I wake up and it…it’s not true. None of it is true, and I don’t know how to cope with it. I get so close when I’m asleep, so close to being _happy_, only to wake up emptier than I’ve been in a long time.”

The pain in Dark’s voice was agonizing for Anti to hear. It was evidence to how deeply it really hurt him. Anti felt his cold heart ache in his chest, and he sat beside Dark, wrapping his arms around the shadow demon’s waist.

Dark leaned into him, and he could feel the slight trembling of his muscles. Anti combed his fingers through his hair, feeling a little of the tension bleed out of Dark at the affection. No matter where they stood with each other now, they couldn’t change the instinctive relaxation they had around one another. There was still too much trust between them, too much of everything, and it was easy to fall back on each other when nothing else was stable.

It was something Anti was grateful for in that moment, because it helped keep Dark steady as he prompted the shadow to speak. “Tell me what happened. It was Mark, right?” Anti was curious, yes, but he also knew Dark needed to tell his perspective on everything. It was the only way to get things out there.

Dark nodded slowly, leaning his head on Anti’s shoulder. “It…Mark and I were…together. It was going fine, good actually but I guess…I don’t know where it came from. Someone must have said something to him, got in his head and…” Dark exhaled slowly before continuing again. “He said I was…manipulating him, ‘turning him gay for my own personal agenda.’” His words caught in his throat on the way out, and it put a strain on his voice.

Anti felt a current of electricity surge through him. “Ta fook- _turn him gay!?_ What kinda _bullshit_, I’ll fookin-“ He started to rise, clenching his fist, but quickly stopped when Dark put a hand gently on his knee. It was a simple gesture, calm despite how clearly upset Dark was about it too. If Anti didn’t know any better, he would say Dark looked relieved at the fact he was angry.

“I know it’s…it’s fucked.” Dark supplied unsteadily, and Anti eased back down into his seat, scooting the last inch closer to comfort him. “I just…I don’t understand who or why but…I just remember him saying we were done, accusing me. When I didn’t immediately jump to my own defense, he just…left.” Dark shook his head and scoffed; his eyes glassy. “I’m just a parasite, I’m not made to love. You know that better than anyone.”

Anti scowled at him. “Fer fooks sake, shut up. Yeh know I love yeh ta death, and I also know yeh love me just as much, so don’t start with that bullshit. There were a lot of different reasons we didn’t work out, and none of them had ta do with how much we did or didn’t love each other. Don’t pretend yeh don’t know that.”

Dark nodded and closed his eyes, pressing his face into Anti’s shoulder. Anti shifted, wrapping his arms snuggly around the other demon. “We really fucked up, didn’t we?” He heard Dark ask, voice muffled.

Anti let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah. It wasn’t our fault, though. Situations were shit, we did what was best fer us.”

“I feel like it made everything worse.”

“It did. But things got better.”

“And now they’re worse again,” Dark let out a soft sigh. Anti took to combing his fingers through Dark’s hair again.

“We did the best we could with what we had to work with, and we still do. Yer gonna be fine. Mark’s an asshole if he wasn’t able to appreciate the sweet, mushy side of yeh when he got to see it. An’ if he’s so easily lead to believe yeh were just playing with him, than he wasn’t worth your time. It’s better this way.” Anti was glaring at the wall, scowling. Dark was his own person and could do whatever the fuck he wanted, Anti wasn’t going to sit here and be a jealous ex – he didn’t have time for that shit. But he was going to be Dark’s protective friend, and hearing about this pissed him right the fuck off.

“Just because you’re right doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Yer not gonna like it, but yeh’ll get used to it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes were made, no warnings were given.

In Dark’s honest opinion, everything was going fine, except for the fact that it wasn’t. It was his official verdict on his situation as he idly watched Anti grumble to himself in annoyance.

Or perhaps he was insulting the kitchen counter that had the audacity to have spilled liquid all over its surface. Knowing Anti, it wasn’t that far fetched.

Anti turned his annoyed glare to Dark. The blue of his blue-green eyes was more noticeable this morning. “Are yeh gonna help at all, or just sit there?”

Dark quirked an eyebrow mildly. “It’s your mess.”

Anti’s eyes narrowed further, an intimidating sight that was completely undermined by the fact the glitch had disastrous bed head and sleep still clouding his gaze. It was nearly noon and the other had just decided to wake up. And he called Dark lazy.

“It’s yer kitchen.” He replied with annoyance, like that meant any thing.

“Perhaps you should take more care not to make a mess of it, then.” He replied mildly.

“Yer actually fookin’ useless.” Anti grumbled, turning back to trying to mop up the mess of coffee on the counter that Anti had just spilled- a treasonous crime and a horrible waste if ever there was one, in Dark’s opinion.

The glitch demon’s bad mood was more amusing to the shadow demon than anything else. It was Anti’s own fault, insisting on staying up to binge watch a show until the early morning. Dark had the sense to turn in long before that, and by that he means he fell asleep halfway through an episode, but that’s besides the point.

Anti continued to bitterly mop up coffee and throw the paper towels away. He turned to Dark suddenly, hitting his hands dramatically in the counter and glaring at the shadow demon. Dark raised an amused eyebrow in response.

“We’re going out,” Anti announced with the air of an angry lion coming to a decision.

“Why, Anti, I’m not sure I can handle being in a relationship with someone who berates me so much, it’s not good for my self esteem.”

“Not like that, yeh bastard,” Anti snapped back.

Dark sighed dramatically, “There you go again-“

“We’re gonna go out an’ do somethin’ cause I’m tired of sitting inside all day with yer mopey dramatic ass, and we’re gonna enjoy it.” Anti declared, still glaring at him viciously.

“That’s the spirit,” Dark replied, taking a sip of his coffee which he didn’t spill any of, thank you very much.  
  


A short time later saw both of them showered and seeming somewhat functional as they went out into society. 

Dark had decided to go more causal, wearing a long sleeved black shirt with a light grey sweater over the top and blue jeans. Anti was keeping with the emo vibe rather throughly with ripped dark grey jeans and black leather jacket. Their destination for the grand adventure into the world of the living? 

The grocery store. 

Yes, the week and some change since Anti had arrived had not yet yielded a trip to the store. Dark wasn’t keen on dealing with people in his current state and he knew Anti didn’t like shopping so the glitch had been letting it slide, but they had nothing to eat at this point. Apparently Anti didn’t care much for Dark’s suggestion of them just starving together and inevitably being discovered in the house a hundred years later as gay lovers by archeologists, so. 

Dark let out a sigh as they entered the store, ac blasting them in the face. He wrinkled his nose up at that grocery store smell he never cared for much. “The smell of peasants,” he mumbled under his breath to Anti, who snorted out a laugh, grabbing a hand basket. 

“Alright so, what do we need?” Anti asked as they wandered into the one of the isles. 

“Anything,” Dark replied vaguely, grabbing two boxes of pancake mix at random and dumping them into Anti’s hand held basket, effectively taking up most of the space already. “We might need an actual cart.”

“Ugh, I hate carts.” Anti grumbled, standing the boxes up properly so there was space for other things as they continued their slow walk. It only took a couple jars and boxes of things for them to reluctantly go get a cart. 

“I’ll push it if it’ll make you quit your hissy fit.” Dark offered his grumpy companion. 

“I’m not having a hissy fit, it’s just a hindrance. Yet a hindrance. If yeh hadfood we wouldn’t have this problem.” 

“No, not having a hissy fit at all,” Dark reply, pushing the cart down an isle. It’s not like he didn’t understand Anti’s annoyance. It wasn’t unreasonably crowded in the store but there were too many people for his personal liking. He just couldn’t miss an opportunity to poke fun at Anti- it made his personal experience more bearable. 

“Shut up.”

By the time they made it to the register they had a very full cart of just about anything, including a box of lucky charm cereal which of course was Anti’s favorite. It made Dark grin when he put into the cart, Anti giving him a dirty look that dared him to say something about it.

It was a disgusting domestic experience that Dark didn’t hate. Anti was keeping close to Dark in the line to stay away from the other people as much as he could. He raised an eyebrow at the other, normally he was the paranoid not wanting to touch other people one, as he unloaded the contents of the cart onto the belt.

He didn’t pay much attention to the fact Anti was staring at something, seeming frozen for a second before he abruptly turned and started to help Dark out the items on the belt. He  _ did _ notice how Anti seemed to position himself in a way that sort of blocked Dark’s view of things in the store. He sent him a questioning glance, peering over his shoulder for a brief second- a brief second was all he really needed. More than he needed.

Because Dark understood now, the reason Anti decided to stand just like that. And that reason locked eyes with him over the demon’s shoulder.

The reason was Mark Fischbach. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark’s too broken for this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates within three days of each other? I must be a different person entirely.   
Sorry for formatting and typos, it’s all down on my phone.  
Also this is the longest chapter so far I’m pretty sure lol. Enjoy this disaster-

Dark froze in place as his gaze locked on the other male. It felt like ice had been injected directly into his heart and was being pumped throughout his veins in place of blood. For a second he swore he couldn’t even breath.

A hand on his shoulder managed to snap his gaze away from Mark, to Anti instead. He didn’t realize how much better he was feeling just then until it all came crashing down. He couldn’t seem to do anything, process anything. Anti shook him slightly.

“Dark,” he said slowly. “Wallet.”

Dark handed his wallet over without question, letting Anti pay. He was still staring at Mark, looking for something, anything, not sure what he was hoping to find. Did Mark hate him? Did he miss him? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t read that face or those eyes.

He just wanted some sign of emotion. Hurt, anger, disgust? He couldn’t decipher what that look meant. He couldn’t look away until they were basically at the exit, Anti pushing him along and- when had Dark started pushing the cart? He couldn’t remember. He felt he had been shoved underwater and didn’t know which way to swim.Everything seemed muffled and distant and confused.

Anti was saying something, but he had no idea if it was to him or not. He was staring at his car- he didn’t know when they even got here- barely registering anything. He felt so disconnected from everything. He was swimming through a void of nothingness on side of the glass, and everything else was on the other side. He could almost get to it but it just...wasn’t reachable. 

Anti voice got louder, joined by another that seemed oddly familiar, and suddenly everything snapped back into place.

Mark and Anti were arguing in the parking lot while he just stood there idly. He had no idea why they were arguing with each other, why was Mark so mad? What did Anti do?

It was making him extremely uncomfortable, and he had no idea what to do about it. His more in control and clam self took over his emotional one and he said without even realizing, “Will you two knock it off?” He sounded like a stranger to himself, even though he’d spoken like this a thousand times before, calm and in control.

They both fell silent and looked at him. He could only hold Mark’s state for a second before he turned away and robotically loaded the grocery’s into the car. He could feel Mark’s gaze burning into the side of his head.

“Do you even care?” The words were spat out so harshly, with so much hate. Dark struggled to breath for a moment. It made his vision swim and his head dizzy. But it wasn’t as if Mark had actually hurt him physically.

Just emotionally. Which was arguably so much worse.

He held onto the side of the car to keep himself steady, unable to even formulate any sort of words together. Luckily, or maybe not, Anti was there.

“Does he care? Who ta fook do yeh think yeh are? Why don’t yeh fook off little piss ant, before I get violent.” He growled, voice pitching oddly in his anger. The static undertone of it didn’t help Dark’s head any, but it vanished a moment later, and the hands were back.

“C’mon, I’ll drive home.”

Mark was gone. When had that happened? Dark very compliantly got in the passenger seat. The closing of the door felt jarring throughout his whole body in a way he couldn’t quite describe. It made him feel fuzzy.

He wasn’t really paying attention much, his mind fixated on the image of Mark and the look he couldn’t decipher.

_“Do you even care?”_

It was haunting the way he said it, and he couldn’t stop replaying it in his head. Of course he cared. Cared about Mark. Was that what he was talking about? It must have been. He couldn’t even begin it figure out why Mark and Anti were so angry, it seemed like it had come out of nowhere.

The transitioning of time must not be right for Dark right now, he figured idly, as it seemed one minute they were in the parking lot and the next they were back at his house. He had no recollection of the space in between. He stared out the front window dazedly, hearing a noise that sounded like a low hum.

No, wait, that was a voice, wasn’t it? It sounded familiar, but too calm. Too...Dark struggled to place a name or a face to the sound, feeling timeless and tether-less. He manages to conclude it was Anti, but he didn’t expressly think it, just registered it in his brain in a serious of images and wordless thoughts. 

Now if only he could figure out what that voice was saying.

It was a slow process, very slow. There was this fog permeating his mind, messing with all of his senses. He couldn’t seem to get it together or push the feeling away, and he couldn’t remember why he should be.

“...yeh know that. He has no right teh say shit, he’s the one who left, he forfeited all rights teh input how yeh live yer life an’ who yeh hang out with. Yeh get to move on and be happy, Dark. Yeh deserve that more than anyone else I know, fer fooks sake. All the shit yeh put up with fer people an’ everything yeh’ve been through...”

When Anti’s words finally made a clear path through the haze everything seemed to snap into place. His body lurched forward without permission and he made a choked off noise in the back of his throat that was dangerously close to a sob. He wasn’t going to cry.

_He was not going to cry about this._

He clasped a hand firmly over his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut. Anti fell silent for a moment, he could feel his gaze on the side of his head.

“Dark?” He asked quietly, cautious, alert. Dark could sense it in the air around them, hear it in his voice. Anti was scared Dark was going to shatter.

He just shook his head. He was already shattered, he just hadn’t registered it yet. He didn’t know how he could put himself back together again if his brain refused to acknowledge it needed to.

“It’s...it’s not  fair .” He choked out before he could stop himself. He hated how weak the words sound, how weak they made him sound. Life wasn’t fair. He sounded like a child. He felt like a child playing at an adults game, trapped on the inside. “I...I did everything I was supposed to, I was there when I was supposed to be, I was there even when I didn’t want to be. I stuck it out, I did everything I could for him, I did everything right-  And it still wasn’t good enough. When will I be enough? When will it be enough I \- I’m so tired.”

_ He was not going to cry, he was not going to cry,  he was not going to cry . _

He tried to choke back the burning in his eyes and the tightness of his throat.

“I know yeh are,” Anti replied from his left. “It’s fooked up, and that’s not yer fault.”

“It has to be me,” Dark whispered miserably. “It’s the only common variable.”

“I don’t think it’s yeh. Yeh were always the best part.”

They sat in silence after that. It wasn’t really comforting silence, but it wasn’t as empty as it would have been without Anti there. Dark felt so exhausted, he was done with everything, he didn’t even want to move anymore. 

“C’mon. Let’s get inside.”

He nodded numbly and slowly got out of the car. He let Anti being him in and take his sweater. Normally he’d object to the babying- he could do it himself damnit- but he didn’t have the energy to do much more than stand there and accept it. The glitch ended up getting him to lay down on the couch, tucking a blanket over him and leaving him there with the tv on.

Dark zoned out on the screen, not really processing any of what was going on. He was started to disconnect again, the warmth of the weighted blanket not quite enough to keep him fully here. It was enough to lure him to sleep, however, and that’s exactly what it did. 

He found little peace in his dreams.

_ The dream didn’t start out bad. Dark was warm, he felt safe. There was a warm mass sitting next to him in the couch in the living room- _

_ It was Mark. _

_Mark smiled at him warmly, resting a hand on his cheek and leaning up to kiss him. It was sweet and gentle, and Dark easily lost himself in the feeling._

_ Mark’s arms around his neck, pulling him closer as the other slipped into his lap, breaking the kiss to give him a grin. _

_ The grin didn’t look as nice as the smile had. _

_ “Mark? Is something wrong?” _

_ “Why would anything be wrong,” Mark asked sweetly. Suddenly hands were on his throat, stronger than seemed possible for the human. “It’s not like you would care anyway.” His voice turned into a snarl, venomous and hateful. _

_“Mark-“ he got cut off as Mark pressed down harder on his throat, his teeth morphing into points, eyes going black and tar pouring down his face._

_ “You never cared about me enough, you were never enough, you’re never going to be enough. Did you really think you could better? You’ll never be anything but scum, and you’ll die alone.” _

_ Dark tried to pry Mark’s hands off his throat, trying to get away. Tears rolled down his cheeks silently as he shook his head, pushing and shoving. Mark wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t move an inch. _

_ He leaned in close next to Dark’s ear whispering, “This is what you deserve. You’re going to die and nobody will care.”  _

  
  


Dark jerked awake with a gasp, hands flying to his throat and pawing at it, fighting off the imagery hands on his wind pipe and only really managed to leave red scratch marks on his skin. He was shaking something horrible, the blanket that was comforting before suddenly felt suffocating.

He fought to get it off of him, panic making him blind and uncertain, everything was blurry and there was wetness on his face. He flailed, trying to get the thing off of him. He felt pain spread through his back but for the life of him couldn’t figure out why. The only thing he could hear was his own panicked breathing, struggling to crawl away the blanket, kicking at the fabric. More pain in his shoulder, but he manager kick the fabric off of his feet finally, sprawling out in the floor, pressing his face against the carpet. 

His breathing was so loud in his ears, his throat tight. He was sobbing in between ragged breaths curling in on himself. 

_He was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die. _

_He was going to die and nobody cared, he was going to die and nobody cared-_

“Dark! Dark looked at me!” Hands were ok his shoulders, trying to pull him up.

“N-no! No g-get off- I don’t wan- don’t want-“ He flailed, trying to get away. He fist connected with something solid and there was a low grunt.

Hands grabbed his face solidly and held him still. “Dark, look at me. Stop, breath. Yer okay, yer safe.”

Dark froze, eyes wide as he stared at the blur of green-blue orbs.

“Anti.” He breathed out shakily before collapsing into the glitch demon’s embrace, pressing his face into Anti’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, yer okay.” Fingers in his hair and soothing words in his ear helped him slowly clam down and regulate his breathing. So much for not crying.

“I’m sorry,” Dark whispered hoarsely into Anti’s shirt, gripping the fabric in his fists.

“Just shut up, don’t apologize teh me, I don’t want yer apologies, and we both know I don’t deserve em either, after everything.”

“You shouldn’t have to be the one to put me back together.” Dark replied quietly, feeling horrible and exhausted, heart still racing.

“Well, someone’s got ta. And it’s better it’s me and not some other dick wad who won’t be able teh handle yeh.”

Dark lifted his head up to look at Anti, searching his face. The look on his fave was sincere and raw, and it made Dark feel vulnerable. It’s been a while since he’d seen an expression like that one on Anti’s face.

“I love you,” he blurted our without thinking, the emotional drain clearly clouding his judgement.

Anti just smiled, though. “I know. I love yeh too. C’mere.” He guides Dark’s head back to his shoulder and held him close. And Dark let him, closing his eyes again and letting Anti hold him. 


End file.
